I have to be better about what I put in my mouth. I have to be better about cleaning my house. I have to be better about calling friends. I really have to be better about not giving the finger to everything I have to be better about and maniacally inhaling a box of Ritz Crackers while I sit on the couch and play Scrabble on Facebook. That last one is probably the priority right now.
I use the phrase “I have to be better about” too often and too flippantly. I definitely hear it too often. Friends tell me what they need to be better about, and so I counter with what I need to be better about. I hear a lot about what the church needs to be better about, which includes me, what Americans need to be better about, also me, what wives need to be better about, me, and what humanity in general needs to be better about, still me! For goodness’ sake! Being faced by my overwhelming need for self-improvement really makes me want to hear a stronger case for complacency. Sure, if you’re complacent nothing will ever get any better, but at least you won’t have to get up at 6:00 am just to have Jillian Michaels tell you, once again, that your abs should be on fire.
Luckily I’ve found a way to organize my life that’s neat and tidy but doesn’t involve me carrying around some sort of intimidating shiny electronic device that also slices tomatoes. Wait for it… an Excel spreadsheet. Nerdy? Yes. Effective? Also, I hope, yes.
I was at the gym one day on the stair-stepper trying to disengage my mind from my body by reading a copy of Runner’s World magazine I found. (I figure reading about working about while actually working out probably quadruples the calorie burn). A certain article was talking about logging different types of runs and making notes in a workout journal. Then it said something similar to, “after all, it’s the things we track that we’ll improve on.” Light bulb! Lip-service only may not be 100% effective.
I don’t like complacency—it worries me. I worry that I’ll get through life and turn around and not know what happened. Maybe I thought about doing something to help a friend but never even called them. Maybe I ended up with a mediocre marriage because, despite thinking about putting my husband’s needs first, I never quite felt like it after work. Maybe I thought about being better about those things, but the though never became anything tangible. That thought scares me to death. I’m not so worried about reaching my potential, because I’m not convinced that’s my end goal. Nor am I worried about “living life to its fullest,” because I think people think that means wrestling crocodiles and running marathons barefoot in Antarctica . And, as fun as that sounds, I will probably be okay if never have those stories to drop at dinner parties. What worries me is being stuck on auto-pilot. Left, right, left… while my time here keeps slipping away.
Hence the Excel spreadsheet. The things we improve on are the things we track, and so I made myself a spreadsheet because it’s something visible and measurable. It’s not as OCD as it sounds. My goals are daily, weekly, and monthly, and I only set them one month at a time. The goals themselves are pretty manageable. I took what was really important to me, those things I wanted to be better about, and listed them, and I track whether or not I meet that goal for the day, week, or month as appropriate. I really feel like a nerd telling you this. But I can’t think of anything more important than living a life that is worthwhile. Not even having abs like Jillian Michaels’, and believe me, that’s up there. God cares about how I live, and it affects every person I come into contact with, and so I have to live with some intentionality. I don’t think a spreadsheet would be a good idea for everybody, but I think the idea of intentionally identifying areas we want to change and then making, like, an actual plan to make those changes is essential if we really do want to make progress. The spreadsheet works for me because putting an “x” in a box really does it for me. The “x” tells me, “hey, you did more than just let life happen to you today!” It’s like getting a gold star on my spelling test.
Anyway, everyone knows what’s said about failing to plan, but I like what my dad said better, “plan your work and work your plan, your plan will work.” Well, it’s certainly helping anyway.
So this is me now. God has given me many blessings and resources. Time, friends, money, a job, certain abilities, the power of the Microsoft Office Suite… and I’d really like to be a good manager of those resources. Today starts a new week, and I have a clearer picture now of where I really need to focus. I’ve been surprised by which goals were the hardest. So here I go—I’ll let you know how it goes. Soon it will be a new month, and I’ll have learned some things and my goals will adjust accordingly. I think I’ll throw in some nutty goals just for good blog-fodder. You know, to keep you untold millions interested. Tracking my life this way may be a little silly, but I think it’s sillier just to cross my fingers, close my eyes tight, and wait for myself to change into the person I want to be.
All the best to you!
-Katie
